I want to walk on stilts...naked
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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