a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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