I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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