So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
