My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We are two peas in an std pod
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
