apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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