just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
