I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
