i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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