You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
