Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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