Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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