I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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