I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
