sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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