Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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