i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
