something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
