I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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