Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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