the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
