Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
