Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
