kristin has been a bad kristin
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
