And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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