Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
