so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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