It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
