hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
