I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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