Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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