There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
