Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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