he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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