Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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