Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
