My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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