you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
