Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
