Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
