My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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