You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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