That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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