Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
