I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
