I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
