Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Randomize
