their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
