My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can you bring me the toilet please
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
