Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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