i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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